.......Just watched a programme taped by a friend.... Her Master's Voice  ....there's a small snippet here -  www.youtube.com/watch?v=09z2seL4NF8‎

   - about a journey undertaken by Nina Conti, a ventriloquist.  I expected to be a little disturbed (watched a horror film as a kid that scared me BIG TIME) and a little ..... bored?   I did not expect to be so moved and enchanted and, though I am indeed disturbed, it is for different reasons.
She was at a turning point/crisis point in her life and had more or less decided to turn away from ventriloquism. She planned to tell Ken Campbell (her ex-lover and mentor) about her decision when she discovered he had died .... and so her journey begins .... I know watching this is meaningful coz of my emotional reaction to it .... but the grey matter hasnt caught up with the heart yet ............

As Im filled with ideas, longings, hopes, misgivings for the coming new year, I am clearing away the clutter that has invaded my studio ......... the Christmas Card Box, Wrapping Paper Box, cellotape, scissors and all seasonal leftovers ......and underneath it all was the palette from my painting of Keevah Mae.  I noticed it formed a circular movement and checked out the plates and palettes I'd worked from and lazily put on the shelf under my desk without cleaning ...... more circles.  Its significance is personal; I remember a conversation I had late one night in the City Centre Streets, when I was in my 20's.   A group of us were giving out hot soup and sandwiches.  I was paired up with a guy who was a Christian and he was asking me about my faith ...... his faith had form and words and well-known stories peopled by heros and heroines .... mine didnt have words or form yet and my 'stories' were still being written with no beginnings or endings.  He was a lovely guy but he was compelled to find out where I was coming from so he started to ask me about love ..... true love ...... and he and I found out at the same time what I really believed.  I said love needs to form a circle otherwise it never fulfils its potential..... which is endless............... This truth, for me,  has stood the test of time  ......